I know that 2 weeks have passed since July 4th, but work has bogged me down a bit. Still, as this is a collection of stories of fatherhood, issues of the day and a journal of Anderson's 1st year, I feel compelled to tell the story of Anderson's first parade.
Woo frickin' hoo.
The day started off as many July Texas days do. Birds chirping. The sun comes up. Birds flopping to the ground. Icarus. It's just damn hot. That being said, Anderson is a Texan and doesn't mind the heat. At least he doesn't tell me this directly, so I'm pretty sure he likes the heat. So 8:45AM comes and Natalie is on call in a cool, air-conditioned fertility center doing things with an ultrasound machine that I prefer to not think too much about. Anderson and I are on our own, and after he jams down a couple of containers of food and loads up his diaper (which I change), we drive off to the local parade, set to start at 9AM. It's already in the 90s, but I throw him into the stroller anyway so he can see a parade. Thankfully, the parade marshals aren't even remotely organized and the parade starts at 10:10 without a hitch. 93 degrees by then, but at least Neo gets to see a Texas 4th of July parade.
The fire truck leads it off and Anderson smiles at the blowing sirens. Or he's just loading up diaper number 2. Hard to tell, but he seems to enjoy it. Then the various Cub Scout and Girl Scout troops walk by. Little Johnny, Jimmy and then some friendless, older kid who is an Eagle Scout. Always strange kids, those Eagle Scouts.
The it happens. The first "parade car" with candy. Of course, some kids from the local little league are trying to pelt anything that moves. Candy comes with a price, a welt on the arm or the proverbial eye out. Thankfully they weren't evil enough to throw it hard at Anderson, but there was a mad dash for the candy.
Imagine everyone's disappointment when they found out that they got "Double Bubble". For those not familiar with Double Bubble, it's been around for years. Per Wikipedia, it was invented by Walter Diemer in 1928 who said "it was an accident." An accident indeed. I just don't get it. This is a minimally flavorful gum from the first time it hits your mouth and that flavor lasts about 7 seconds. After that, you're chewing a lifeless wad of rubber.
And it's been produced since 1937. How has it survived?
I have a theory. This is the only confection that is expressly made to be thrown at other people. It has a reasonable weight and is somewhat aerodynamic. More importantly, multiple "Double Bubbles" can be thrown at once, for a shotgun-like effect. While it stings, it won't permanently damage the victim, as Jolly Ranchers might. Fun for everyone in the family.
So we picked up 3 "Double Bubbles" as well as some grape-flavored spherical sugar rocks, watched the lame parade pass. People dancing with lawn chairs walked by. People walked by with their dogs. The guys who think it's cool to have an 80 year old car drove by next. Then mercifully it came to an end and we subsequently walked back to the car. The stroller was easier to push than it was earlier as Anderson had sweat off about 15% of his body weight. Other parents did the same ritual, all an attempt to bond with a sense of national pride.
Anderson came home and slept, likely suffering from heat stroke. I did the same, drifting to sleep with nightmares of Anderson as an Eagle Scout.
More pictures later ...
