Deliverance Part III

Ahh ... a Tennessee wedding. Nothing quite like it. They even spelled "Tennessee" wrong, having misspelled it "Maine". Not even close.

Sorry for the delay in getting to part III of our sordid tale. I actually calculated my work hours last week and worked close to 80 hours. I feel like a resident again. To recap, we went to Gatlinburg, TN for Natalie's sister Diana and Aaron's wedding. We ate pancakes, frolicked in Dollywood and then ... the main event. All I can say is ...

Disappointing.

Just disappointing.

Why do I say this? First, everyone at the wedding had teeth. Dammit, this is Tennessee and there are certain traditions to uphold. Nobody came to the wedding with vomit on their shirt, and the bride was not visibly pregnant. For God's sake, the groom didn't even smell of Mad Dog 20/20!!! Finally, the bride and groom did not have their first dance as a couple to "Free Bird".

What the hell sort of Tennessee wedding is this? I feel cheated.

Here are some pictures ...

Natalie, Anderson and many of the bride's family. What's wrong with this picture? You're right ... nobody is sprawled on the lawn ...

Natalie and Diana, neither of which has anything close to Tammy Fae make-up.

Aaron and his lifetime servant, per Tennessee statute 103.73:2.4.

Diana, giving a ring to Aaron. Shortly after this Aaron gave his new wife a mop, apron and iron ... a Tennessee tradition for signifying his love.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
'cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I cant change.
But please don't take it badly,
'cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

(Okay ... maybe it's not a remotely appropriate wedding song. At all. But it's the National Anthem of the South. So there it is.)