Deliverance (Part One of Three)

This just about says it all ...

Long time ... sorry for any of you who happen to check my blog on a regular basis. But now that there's something to write about ...

Diana, Natalie's little (and only) sister, got married this weekend and Natalie was the matron of honor. The last of the Burger kids to get married, and there was a little to live up to. After all, Natalie and I had our wedding at a picturesque castle in Slovakia. Norbert, Natalie's twin brother and his wife Masako had their wedding in Osaka, Japan with a traditional shinto wedding. Kimonos. And Diana? Cue the banjos, but Diana had her wedding in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Possibly the most foreign land of the bunch.

Driving into this uniquely American place, you get to experience what Natalie called "Southern Las Vegas". That's her nice way of saying "Scary Redneck Hell". The drive to Gatlinburg - a small town on the edge of the Smokeys - takes you through Pigeon Force, Tennessee. This is the home of ... Dolly Parton. And all of her inbred relatives, I suspect. The following is a pictorial of all you need to know about Pigeon Force, TN ...

A pancake house is in Gatlinburg. Hey ... it opens at 6:30 AM!

Making our way into Pigeon Force ... pancakes anyone?

Contemplation ... pancakes! And these are America's favorite pancakes! How could I have lived so long without knowing this?

And in case those other ones have a line ...

Tired of the homestyle pancakes? Try a chain pancake house! I didn't photograph the second IHOP in Pigeon Force, nor did I include Shoney's (I believe there were 3) or any other chain that I recognized ...

You think ... hmm ... there's no way in hell that there could be another one of these things. And then ...

Even the 3 bears eat pancakes! Funny, I don't remember that part of the story ....

Now we're too fatigued to walk to the other side of the road to take the picture. If only we had one of those electric carts that all of the people who are too obese to walk, we could have gotten closer ...

Now ... just lean out of the window ... and that's all of the pancake houses I could see from the road. It's All American, so the prices must be higher without lower wage illegal help behind the counters. Clearly I didn't want those. Besides, GM cars are all american and who wants to drive one of those?

All pancake houses were within about 3 miles, with the exception of the first (thankfully they had a franchise in Pigeon Force.) I was running out of different poses in front of the restaurants anyway ...

I suspect these are fertile recruiting grounds for The Jerry Springer Show.

Next episode: Part 2 of Deliverance ... DOLLYWOOD!