A Parent's Pilgrimage

Anderson sitting in a chair where over 934 children have deposited either vomit, urine or feces. There's a sign, kinda like McDonald's.

Today we made the plunge. Nothing, in my mind, was more pathetic than when I was growing up then watching droves of parents driving their family on the weekend pilgrimage. I always looked at them with a bit of sorrow, but ultimately averted my eyes when they got close ... much like many look at people begging for food on the side of an on-ramp. And now I've become one of them.

We've taken Anderson to Chuck E Cheese.
We have been reduced to this.
Ugh.

For those not aware of Chuck E Cheese, this is a "restaurant" that serves pizza, sandwiches and swill that allows parents terrified to take their kids to a real restaurant the opportunity to get out of the house. The food tastes terrible and you're subjected to videos of the latest children's television hits. Worse yet, some musician you've never heard is on the video monitor "reinterpreting" hit songs for kids, forever ruining the song. Oh ... and some idiot - likely on some work release from prison - dressed as a hideous rodent runs around and scares your kids. But nobody else wants you and your kid in their restaurant, so you go there.

But we were there and here's a picture which shows Anderson with the large ugly rodent.

The three of us with some dude who has lost all self respect.

To make up for this scarring experience, we bought Anderson a kid's pool. I didn't warm up the water (bad parent) before plopping him into the pool, which Natalie quickly corrected. It's a tough world out there, Buddy. Here are some more happy pictures ...

Anderson in his cool "Matrix" wrap-around shades.

Did Annie Leibovitz do any better with "Hannah Montana"?

First swim lesson. He panicked, drank some water and felt ill. Not any worse than how we felt after eating at Chuck E Cheese.

*** Disclaimer: For those Chuck E Cheese executives who regularly visit my blog (I know you're out there) the above embellished recollections are fanciful works of art used for humorous purposes that have a long history of falling within first amendment rights. While we may not trust Justices Scalia and Thomas on anything else, they usually let people like me make fun of you like this. And please don't try to get back my business with free coupons.